Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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