i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
