I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
