I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
