After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
