some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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