I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
