You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
