Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
