At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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