"it" just moved
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
