I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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