im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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