I look better un-naked...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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