3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
