Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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