Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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