yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize