just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
