Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you didnt know i had herpes?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
