dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
