Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
