If i come over, it means nothing
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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