I want to make a zoo with you.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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