And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
