It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
