It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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