I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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