Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
