And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
