sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
