she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I could fuck to npr.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize