The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Randomize
