Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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