Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
