I just pynch a tree in the face
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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