do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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