i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
