is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
