Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
