I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
