We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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