Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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