I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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