I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize