Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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