I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
