if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize