Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
im holly from the hills drunk
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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