This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
