where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
