i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
