But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
