If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
