Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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