rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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