Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
