omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
